Gummy Bear Drinkers Need Alcohol Awareness Class

by: Mike Miller

Good, old American ingenuity has been the foundation that has made this country great. American minds have harnessed powerful creativity to create some of the greatest inventions on Earth. As a teen I remember trying to sneak alcohol into school functions, and movies like “American Graffiti” illustrate how students spiked the punch bowl.

Since then there have been “Jello shots” and spiked watermelon. The latest innovation by American teens is “Spiked Gummy Bears.”

Teens have found a devilish new way of smuggling vodka on their person so that they can get drunk in math class!

The fad began in California’s Central Coast. Now teenagers have caught on to the fact that gummy bears, when soaked for a while in a vodka bath, absorb quite significant amounts of alcohol, which can then be ingested on the sly. Because everyone knows how awesome it is to be wasted in the middle of a school day!

What is becoming of society right now? My nephew has to go through medical detectors with security guards each day before entering his high school. Are we coming to the days George Orwell predicted in “1984?” I can understand the teen mind and the idea of getting away with being buzzed in class, but they need to take a good online alcohol class so they are aware of the dangers of alcohol.